Most people wish for an exciting and vibrant relationship, but they also want it to be completely predictable. It is impossible! A person or a relationship that is full of life has to be unpredictable in order not to lose its charm and appeal.
If you want an exciting relationship you must learn to live in the moment, not in the past nor in the future. The next moment is uncertain and what you take for granted today may not be there tomorrow. Lovers may part and new directions may be found in the ever changing dynamic of life.
If you manage to live in the moment, there is a great chance that your partner will stay with you. I say a great chance, because nothing can be guaranteed. But the chance of success is greater because the next moment will derive from the moment you are living now. If you love your partner and you feel good about life, why would they run away from you? But if you worry all the time and you are unable to give the best of yourself, why should they stay?
Self-fulfilling prophecies
When your partner leaves you, you will probably say, "I said that this relationship wouldn't last and now I have proved it." Your own predictions have become reality. By saying this you may also feel more comfortable, maybe even a bit wise. But you have actually not predicted anything. Rather, you have been foolish. Your partner left you because you couldn't appreciate the moment, and wasted your ability to love. If you can love, love. If you cannot love, then move on, don't waste your time. Just remember that if you can't love your current partner, you will not be able to love someone else neither.
Is your security your prison
When looking for love, we are unfortunately far too concerned with our fears and we try to protect ourselves from being hurt. Over the years, we might have experienced disappointments, which increases our need for protection.
Eventually, we live so secured that it becomes impossible to live. While trying to protect ourselves, we destroy our lives. Therefore, we need to understand that the more we want to feel alive, the more we need to let go of our control. We all protect ourselves, each in our own way, either with money, power, social interaction, or by being part of a political or religious group.
Once we can understand what prevents us from living, we will be able to learn to live in the moment. It is a dangerous place to be for many of us because to learn how to love, we have to look at ourselves as both the source and the destination of the change. Those who master it are rewarded because they truly live. Others are preoccupied with surviving.
Take a step into the unknown
Use the time you have now, not to worry, but to live. Take a chance on love and be loved. In doing so, you will quickly find that the small things become beautiful. Life is about giving a little and receiving a little. We cannot live in a prison if we want to live. We must live and allow ourselves to experience things and be grateful for every moment. We do not have to be brave or adventurous to dare to live. We have to be gamblers to take a chance on love.
Be a gambler
Nothing in life is certain. That is what is so wonderful about the challenge of life. This is also why it is important that we do not delay a single moment, but that we live right now. Don't continue to repeat the past and live in the memories of how you could have loved and how you could have lived, only because you are afraid of losing someone. If you do that, the past will determine the future. This means that you have no future. What happened yesterday will happen again today tomorrow.
If you love someone, love them now. How wonderful is it to be with someone that dares to give themselves? Equally amazing is being with someone who can show genuine love by embracing what you give them.
