It takes only a minute to meet someone, a few hours to start appreciating a person and a day to fall in love. So why does it take many of us an entire lifetime to forgive?
We can always find something to be hurt about or something to be happy about. All it takes is to focus on that specific thing. The people closest to us are the ones who can hurt us the most, but also the ones who can make us the happiest.
A story of two friends
Two friends were walking in the desert. At one point, they got into an argument that lead to one slapping the other in the face. The one who got slapped was hurt inside by this, and without saying a word to the other, wrote with a stick in the sand, “today, my best friend slapped me in the face”.
They kept walking and reached an oasis where they decided to take a bath. The one who had previously been slapped had an accident and was close to drowning, when his friend saved him. When he recovered, he carved in a stone, “today, my best friend saved me from drowning”.
The one who hurt and then saved his friend asked, “why did you write in sand when I had hurt you, but now, you carve in stone?”.
The other answered, “when someone hurts you, you should write it in sand where the wind of forgiveness can erase it. But when someone does you good, you should carve it in stone so that the wind can't blow it away”.
Forgive yourself
Forgiveness is foremost about letting the bitterness go to prevent it from lowering the quality of your life.
Example:
You hate someone because they hate you. You are actually doing that person a favor by letting him or her hurt you without having to do anything. If a situation like this develops, your life will start to evolve around hating that person.
The quality of your life
The quality of your life depends on how you are feeling. What you feel is predominantly a result of what you are focusing on.
Often, we intensify our emotions and make them stronger than what they actually were, merely by focusing on them.
What we focus on
Our experiences are also dependent on our focus.
If you are in constant pain because someone has hurt you, it is wise to try and identify the questions you are asking yourself.
Do you ask yourself, “why is this happening to me” or “why is this person doing this to me?”
What you should ask yourself is “how is this affecting me?”
Give yourself and the people around you the gift of a new beginning. Learn how to write in sand when you have been hurt and carve in stone the things that make you happy.
You deserve to focus on the best in life!
